Dating a Predator? Published April 20, 2007 By (Courtesy of the SARC office) POPE AIR FORCE BASE, N.C. -- Do you know how to spot a sexual assault predator? Would you know the signs even if he is your buddy? How about the hot guy you just met? While in High School I had very low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I was slightly overweight. I had plenty of male friends, but no boyfriends. During my senior year I lost 30 pounds due to my metabolism increasing. After I graduated and started to prepare for college, I noticed that my self-esteem and confidence started to increase slowly. I had a crush on my best friend for the past 4 years and he started to develop interest as well. At this time I was 17. I went over to his place to watch a movie when he started to make advances on me. I was inexperienced in that area, but went with the flow until it became uncomfortable and I told him to stop. "I was raised to wait for marriage," I explained. He stopped and we continued to watch the movie. He again made his advances and when I told him to stop again, he didn't. He became violent and started saying very hurtful things. While I was trying to fight back, he hit me a few times (bruising my ribs) and started choking me and saying, "You are fat and ugly, nobody wants you. You should be happy that I do. Stop fighting it, you aren't worth anything and nobody is going to believe you because you're worthless." His physical and verbal abuse increased until I gave up and could no longer fight back. I did not press charges or seek any counseling. After the incident I felt very bad about myself. I thought I deserved what happened to me and that everything my friend told me was true. Eventually I was able to get past it by suppressing all my feelings and memories about it. I never once confronted my friend or my past. The Sexual Assault and Prevention Response Office is offering a healthy relationships class Tuesday from 1 to 4 p.m. in the Military Equal Opportunity conference room located in the Airman and Family Readiness Center. It is an interactive class for military women of any age and is conducted and attended in civilian attire or the PT uniform. You will receive information and partake in entertaining and educational discussions throughout the class. Space is still available so call 394-4551 or 394-2769 to sign up. Also send an e-mail to mary.mcgriff@pope.af.mil. Tips if assaulted: - Go get a rape kit done (whether you press charges or not). - If you have been drugged, get your blood tested - Make a report - Get counseling - Get STD screening; every three months for a year - Do not blame yourself, it wasn't your fault Tips for prevention: - Don't ever put it past your friends/associates; they may end up being the assailant (statistics show it's usually not a stranger) - Try to have a wingman with you you - Try to foresee what can happen; don't put yourself in a bad situation.