Make holidays less stressful Published Dec. 7, 2006 By Maj. Darrick Cunningham Life Skills Support Center POPE AIR FORCE BASE, N.C. -- The holiday season is meant to be a joyous time of year. But there are many who don't find themselves joyful as this season arrives. In fact, many people during this season experience what is commonly known as the "holiday blues." Holidays also can make blue moods seem more intense, because people think they are odd for not feeling as happy as everyone else. There can be an exaggerated sense of not belonging, and that can highlight and accentuate a sense of loneliness. Holiday blues are more of a situational sadness, though physical symptoms may resemble those of clinical depression, including a general sense of sadness, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, withdrawal from activities you usually enjoy, and, in extreme cases, thoughts of suicide. You also may feel hopeless, angry or overwhelmed. Depression, on the other hand, lasts longer and may require treatment. If you see changes in your personality or if your sadness is affecting you physically for more than two weeks, then you might have a diagnosable depression. Holiday blues can be broken down into three basic areas: Biologic, economic and psychological. Biologic causes relate to overeating, consuming more alcohol than usual and getting too little rest. Economic causes relate to lack of budgeting/responsible spending. Psychological stressors can be related to pre-existing depression, anniversary dates of loved ones who have died, increasingly stressful schedule/travel. Others have unrealistic expectations of a perfect Christmas. Some grieve happier times of past Christmases. Consider the following suggestions for coping with holiday distress: - Implement a budget and stick with it. Limit/eliminate credit purchases. Remember, you will have to repay any bills that you incur. Exchange names among extended family members and social groups versus feeling obligated to buy everyone gifts or make, build, create, or recycle gifts. - Get the proper amount of rest and exercise. Remember schedules will be more hectic, and we have less daylight in the winter months. - Watch children at Christmas. Catch the excitement from them. - Put more emphasis on doing things for people and giving. A lot of gifts can be given that do not cost money. Making a special gift or doing something for someone many times is a way to really catch the spirit. - If you have predisposed substance abuse or mental health condition(s), keep in mind you are at increased risk for symptom exacerbation. There will be parties with lots of food and alcohol being served. Don't go to these or leave early if you feel the temptation is too great. Alcohol is a depression multiplier. - For those who are alone, make contact with others. If you know someone like this, encourage them to spend some time with you. Spend time with people who are supportive and care about you. Make new friends if you are alone during special times. Contact someone you have lost touch with. - Start a new tradition this Christmas. There are many things that you can do at Christmas time that cost nothing. For example, looking at the Christmas lights/decorations is usually a very enjoyable. Go window shopping or explore the intricate store decorations. - Couples frequently report extraordinary stress. Families many times are pulled between deciding which family to spend time with. This can be a real juggling act. Spouses need to reach an agreement about how they will work out spending time with each family. Rotating these times might be the answer. - Take up a new hobby for the cold winter months. For example, now might be the time to start a stamp or card collection. - Consider starting that exercise program that you have been putting off for so long. - Consider taking that college course you've been thinking about for a while. - Parents need to tell their children to be realistic. It is OK to say to your child that a certain toy is too expensive. And even Santa Claus has limited funds and has to choose what to give because he has a very long list. You can also tell your children that Mom, Dad and Santa Claus will try to choose the most suitable present for the child. Children have to learn that their wish is not someone's command and to curb their desires for instant gratification.